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I Had The Baby, So Why Am I Still So Big?
Ah, my first blog post (EVER) and I couldn't think of anything better to write about than my 5 month obsession with my weight. You see, I gave birth to my son 5 months ago today via an emergency c-section. It was an amazing experience and he has been an absolute joy to my husband and me (honestly, he is such an awesome baby!). OK, so back to my weight obsession...
I think it struck me in the hospital. Visitors poured in and many pictures were taken, but, I looked at the digital images in dismay. I wanted to enjoy the memories of me embracing my little miracle boy... but instead found myself cringing at the sight of my triple-chin. It got worse when I visited the doctor 5 days after giving birth, stepped on the scale, and weighed 185 pounds! How could I just have a baby and only lose 5 pounds??? Yes, I was 190 pounds when I went into labor, but I'll get to that later. Now, let me give you some idea of my "normal" state. I am 5'1" and I have - I mean had - your basic athletic build. I was an athlete my whole life, but I've had to workout regularly all through my 20's and early 30's to maintain a healthy 120-125 pounds. On my wedding day in 2008 I looked gorgeous at 122 pounds and I happily added about 8 pounds during my first 8 months of wedded bliss. I chalked it up to the all-you-can-eat honeymoon cruise, our first holidays together, pancake breakfasts, and perfecting my domesticity in the kitchen. I still looked pretty darn good at 130 though. And after all, I did still fit in my size 2/4 clothes.
Then in May 2009 I became pregnant with our 1st baby. I had always pictured myself as this amazingly cute and physically fit prego who would gain no more than the recommended 25 pounds. I would see a woman in her 8th month taking the TKB class and think to myself, "that will totally be me someday." I couldn't wait to get a baby bump and start sporting those super-cute maternity clothes I picked up at Pea In A Pod. Oh, how I wish I could go back in time to talk to myself at that very moment I saw "Pregnant" on the stick. I would've warned myself of what was to come and how to deal with it!
I was lucky enough to NEVER throw up! But, I was queasy all the time so I constantly noshed on crackers, PB&J and grilled cheese sandwiches, and Top Ramen. Plus, I was working in a rather stressful job, busting my but to improve my job rating (I got slammed for slacking a bit around wedding time so I was trying to make up for it) and I didn't tell them I was pregnant until my 13th week. Sooooooooo, I snacked to keep my stomach settled AND I snacked to keep my energy up at work (remember how tired YOU felt during the 1st trimester?). By the time I reached my 2nd trimester, I had already gained 15 pounds!
That was about the same time I stopped exercising altogether. Now, by this time I had already stopped running and taking TKB classes and settled for a weekly Zumba class and yoga DVD. Now, even those lame workouts were becoming too much for me to fit into my overcrowded (and exhausting) schedule, which included traveling more than ever for work. To top it all off, I had a 2nd trimester appetite that was totally out of control. Oh sure, everyone kept telling me how "cute" I looked and how I was "all belly". But, the "cute" comments seemed to fuel my garbage disposal mentality and I think that, in some weird way, I loved the attention that came with eating 4 donuts at a time during work meetings. The sad truth is that my belly size was just concealing the growth that my thighs and butt were experiencing... and my maternity clothes were concealing it all.
My 3rd trimester didn't get any better. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas all provided opportunity to feed my "cravings". By the time I went into labor in January 2010, I had gained a total of 60 pounds! I was in total denial. I almost weighed more than my husband. I was so big that everyone said to me "looks like you're having a big baby," which is totally code for "you're fat" because my son was less than 7 pounds. But, hey, I was having a baby! I mean, who cares about weight when you're about to give birth to a real human being, right? Besides, everyone assured me that breastfeeding would just "melt" the pounds away... yeah right! I think I just found myself another blog topic.
Hey, who knows, maybe breastfeeding does melt the pounds away... the 15-20 pounds that are supposed to be left after you deliver the baby. What about my other 35 pounds of overeating-non-exercising fat? How was I going to get rid of that? Well, as I was about to find out, it would be a HUGE challenge... and the added weight of regret wouldn't make it any easier.
September 6, 2008 - 122 pounds
January 16, 2009 - 190 pounds (but check out that adorable baby boy!)
I think it struck me in the hospital. Visitors poured in and many pictures were taken, but, I looked at the digital images in dismay. I wanted to enjoy the memories of me embracing my little miracle boy... but instead found myself cringing at the sight of my triple-chin. It got worse when I visited the doctor 5 days after giving birth, stepped on the scale, and weighed 185 pounds! How could I just have a baby and only lose 5 pounds??? Yes, I was 190 pounds when I went into labor, but I'll get to that later. Now, let me give you some idea of my "normal" state. I am 5'1" and I have - I mean had - your basic athletic build. I was an athlete my whole life, but I've had to workout regularly all through my 20's and early 30's to maintain a healthy 120-125 pounds. On my wedding day in 2008 I looked gorgeous at 122 pounds and I happily added about 8 pounds during my first 8 months of wedded bliss. I chalked it up to the all-you-can-eat honeymoon cruise, our first holidays together, pancake breakfasts, and perfecting my domesticity in the kitchen. I still looked pretty darn good at 130 though. And after all, I did still fit in my size 2/4 clothes.
Then in May 2009 I became pregnant with our 1st baby. I had always pictured myself as this amazingly cute and physically fit prego who would gain no more than the recommended 25 pounds. I would see a woman in her 8th month taking the TKB class and think to myself, "that will totally be me someday." I couldn't wait to get a baby bump and start sporting those super-cute maternity clothes I picked up at Pea In A Pod. Oh, how I wish I could go back in time to talk to myself at that very moment I saw "Pregnant" on the stick. I would've warned myself of what was to come and how to deal with it!
I was lucky enough to NEVER throw up! But, I was queasy all the time so I constantly noshed on crackers, PB&J and grilled cheese sandwiches, and Top Ramen. Plus, I was working in a rather stressful job, busting my but to improve my job rating (I got slammed for slacking a bit around wedding time so I was trying to make up for it) and I didn't tell them I was pregnant until my 13th week. Sooooooooo, I snacked to keep my stomach settled AND I snacked to keep my energy up at work (remember how tired YOU felt during the 1st trimester?). By the time I reached my 2nd trimester, I had already gained 15 pounds!
That was about the same time I stopped exercising altogether. Now, by this time I had already stopped running and taking TKB classes and settled for a weekly Zumba class and yoga DVD. Now, even those lame workouts were becoming too much for me to fit into my overcrowded (and exhausting) schedule, which included traveling more than ever for work. To top it all off, I had a 2nd trimester appetite that was totally out of control. Oh sure, everyone kept telling me how "cute" I looked and how I was "all belly". But, the "cute" comments seemed to fuel my garbage disposal mentality and I think that, in some weird way, I loved the attention that came with eating 4 donuts at a time during work meetings. The sad truth is that my belly size was just concealing the growth that my thighs and butt were experiencing... and my maternity clothes were concealing it all.
My 3rd trimester didn't get any better. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas all provided opportunity to feed my "cravings". By the time I went into labor in January 2010, I had gained a total of 60 pounds! I was in total denial. I almost weighed more than my husband. I was so big that everyone said to me "looks like you're having a big baby," which is totally code for "you're fat" because my son was less than 7 pounds. But, hey, I was having a baby! I mean, who cares about weight when you're about to give birth to a real human being, right? Besides, everyone assured me that breastfeeding would just "melt" the pounds away... yeah right! I think I just found myself another blog topic.
Hey, who knows, maybe breastfeeding does melt the pounds away... the 15-20 pounds that are supposed to be left after you deliver the baby. What about my other 35 pounds of overeating-non-exercising fat? How was I going to get rid of that? Well, as I was about to find out, it would be a HUGE challenge... and the added weight of regret wouldn't make it any easier.
September 6, 2008 - 122 pounds
Novermber 22, 2009 - 170 pounds
January 16, 2009 - 190 pounds (but check out that adorable baby boy!)
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