The Magazine for Orange County Moms...AKA Mamazine
Wisdom For Working Moms - Just Say No
As children, saying "No" seems to come quite naturally. In fact,
for many kids, it's one of their first words. Kids get to
experience and test out their power and control by simply saying
"NO" to nearly everything their parents ask.
But somewhere along the way, especially for women, the natural tendency to say NO turns to a learned behavior of saying YES. We want people to like us, we want to be accommodating, and we want to be seen as being able and willing to do it all.
Maybe being a "YES" woman has helped you get where you are today in some positive ways, but what is it costing you now. The truth is that every time you say YES to something that you either don't want to do, don't enjoy doing or really don't have time to do, you are disrespecting your own needs and priorities.
The next time you are asked to do something and find yourself about to say "YES", tell the person making the request that you will get back to them--whether it's in an hour, five hours or the next day. Don't go with your immediate impulse to say yes. Then, take a few minutes to close your eyes, take some deep breaths and ask yourself whether you really want to do what was requested. Does it sound fun? Will you enjoy it? Do you have the time to make the commitment? Do really want to help this person out? Check in and get clear as to whether the YES is coming from you really wanting to do it or feeling like you should do.
If it doesn't sound fun, you don't think you'll enjoy it, you don't have the time to make the commitment or you don't really want to help the person out from a loving place, then tell yourself it's okay to honor yourself and just say NO. Think of it this way, when you say NO to the things you don't want to do, don't need to do or don't really have time to do, you are saying YES to those things that the most important to you.
I invite you to share in more wisdom for working moms with the free weekly resource Three Words of Wisdom for Working Moms. For more information, visit http://www.3wordsofwisdom.com
But somewhere along the way, especially for women, the natural tendency to say NO turns to a learned behavior of saying YES. We want people to like us, we want to be accommodating, and we want to be seen as being able and willing to do it all.
Maybe being a "YES" woman has helped you get where you are today in some positive ways, but what is it costing you now. The truth is that every time you say YES to something that you either don't want to do, don't enjoy doing or really don't have time to do, you are disrespecting your own needs and priorities.
The next time you are asked to do something and find yourself about to say "YES", tell the person making the request that you will get back to them--whether it's in an hour, five hours or the next day. Don't go with your immediate impulse to say yes. Then, take a few minutes to close your eyes, take some deep breaths and ask yourself whether you really want to do what was requested. Does it sound fun? Will you enjoy it? Do you have the time to make the commitment? Do really want to help this person out? Check in and get clear as to whether the YES is coming from you really wanting to do it or feeling like you should do.
If it doesn't sound fun, you don't think you'll enjoy it, you don't have the time to make the commitment or you don't really want to help the person out from a loving place, then tell yourself it's okay to honor yourself and just say NO. Think of it this way, when you say NO to the things you don't want to do, don't need to do or don't really have time to do, you are saying YES to those things that the most important to you.
I invite you to share in more wisdom for working moms with the free weekly resource Three Words of Wisdom for Working Moms. For more information, visit http://www.3wordsofwisdom.com
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