How avoiding Valentine's Day can save your relationship

By Kirsten Wright

Valentine’s Day is beautiful – it’s dedicated to love, passion, relationships and romance. But, it can be pretty ugly and dangerous for a relationship. Want to protect your relationship? Avoid it like the plague. Don’t believe me? Let’s check out four common Valentine’s Day scenarios, and what can happen:

1. Going out to a romantic dinner at one of OC’s hotspots where everyone goes to be seen. Sounds like a perfect night, right? Unless you’ve made reservations a year in advance and plan on mortgaging your home to pay for dinner, it won’t be pretty. Oh, and then add in all the people around you who are either proposing to their significant other, giving them lavish gifts, or worse, fighting because they are as frustrated about the bad service as you are…it’s bound to be a problematic diner.

2. Letting your significant other pick the movie. When you pick a movie, you’re going to pick your favorite kind (the kissy-face dreamy eyed one or the shoot ‘em up with women in lingerie one) Whoever decides is going to be subjecting the other to a type of movie that they would never watch in a million years. Once you submit them once, you’ve set yourself up for failure anytime you go again. From this point on, it will be “but I thought you liked the movies I picked”? And when you say that you don’t…well, good luck getting to share the bed that night.

3. Picnic on a secluded beach and then a nude romp in the waves. Sand. Sand. Sand. Sand. Did I mention sand? Oh, and jellyfish, seaweed, cold water, unpredictable weather and beach patrol? This night sounds great in theory but the beach is not meant for sexy winter nights, it’s meant for summers and barbecues.

4. Attempting to bring back your youth with drive through and a quickie in the back seat. Unless Morton’s has started doing drive through, fast food is never a good idea on a romantic evening. Trust me, even if you think this is going to be cute and fun, fast food does not say I love you. And then the quickie in the car? Not going to happen. You are not 16, and you are not that flexible. The end of this evening will either be in the emergency room or with one of you on the couch (probably whoever suggested the fast food).

5. Candlelit dinner at home followed by rose petals on the bed and a heated night of passion. Ahh, at last, one that will be guaranteed to work. No overpriced food, no crowds, just you and your significant other. Unfortunately, it is usually the significant other that can barely make toast that tries to cook Chicken Marsala, red rose petals will stain white bedspreads and hot wax is only sexy in the movies. So all totaled at the end of the night? You have inedible food, need to buy a new bed set and are being treated for 3rd degree burns on your chest. Yup, that’s romance.

And you thought Valentine’s Day was a good holiday…