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3 things my Children taught me...

As the mother of six, the oldest four of whom are now adults, I have learned many lessons over the past almost quarter of a century about parenting. As I watch my youngest daughter sleep, I am amazed at the new lessons she teaches me each and every day. I suppose part of it is that for the much greater part it is just the two of us each day. Part of it too may be the maturity brought by my age. I am much less worried about how my child's behaviour reflects on me and more concerned about her well-being. I admit too that her health issues make me thankful every day for her.

Last week, when we visited her doctor yet again was a prime example. She had a seizure the night before and after a fit she is always hyperexcitable for about a week. This day was no exception. In the play area as we waited for the doctors I was constantly watching over her lest she through a temper tantrum simply because she can not manage her little brain at those times. I got tired of explaining to other parents about her situation...how she cannot control herself right after a seizure. I know that had she been my first child I would have been horribly embarrassed by something that was a medical condition beyond both our controls.

This is what I mean by our children teaching us lessons. It isn't that I'm the perfect mother. It is that I listen to my heart and my gut about what this particular child needs to give them the best start in life. In our expert ridden society, we forget that WE are the experts on OUR child, if we will only listen to our hearts and them.

Below are my three top picks: common sense things that have proven invaluable to me over the past twenty-three years as a mother.

1) Explore away.
We have all heard the expression...kids will be kids. Children learn through all their senses...touch, taste, smell, see and hear. So whether it is grass, dirt or bugs, the risks posed are probably far less than the benefit of exploration and discovery. Stains can usually be washed out...and if not then add those items to the growing collection of play things.

2) Try new things.
It is natural to want to protect your children (actually that was the advice I heard from the doctor that day too), but sometimes by watchful waiting we can allow them to develop a sense of accomplishment. My daughter loves to play on the jungle gym meant for her seven year old brother. It is terrifying for me as her mother (especially since I never know when she could have a seizure), but when she succeeds her little face lights up so bright. Hmmm...sometimes parents need to try new things too. When was the last time you did?

3) Listen with your heart.
As I said I might perhaps be a tad more aware of just how precious they really are; illness will teach you that lesson very quickly. But these little treasures have so mush to teach us if we will just stop and listen.

Being a parent has never been easy and in these fast-paced, challenging times it is more trying. Yet each day, our children offer us their love, their lives and priceless lessons into their hearts and minds. We have only to slow down long enough to listen and learn.

Terri is the mother of six; 3 caesareans, 2 VBACs and an adoption. She has over fifteen years breastfeeding experience as well as peer supporter training with two organisations. Terri has completed the Childbirth Educator, Birth & Post-partum Doula certificates with Childbirth International. In addition, she also holds a BS in health education from Texas A&M University.

To sign-up for her monthly e-newsletter featuring her latest articles on pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and parenting; visit her webiste: www.specialstartbirth.com

By Terri O'Neale

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