
As the
mother of six, the oldest four of whom are now adults, I have
learned many lessons over the past almost quarter of a century
about parenting. As I watch my youngest daughter sleep, I am amazed
at the new lessons she teaches me each and every day. I suppose
part of it is that for the much greater part it is just the two of
us each day. Part of it too may be the maturity brought by my age.
I am much less worried about how my child's behaviour reflects on
me and more concerned about her well-being. I admit too that her
health issues make me thankful every day for her.
Last week, when we visited her doctor yet again was a prime
example. She had a seizure the night before and after a fit she is
always hyperexcitable for about a week. This day was no exception.
In the play area as we waited for the doctors I was constantly
watching over her lest she through a temper tantrum simply because
she can not manage her little brain at those times. I got tired of
explaining to other parents about her situation...how she cannot
control herself right after a seizure. I know that had she been my
first child I would have been horribly embarrassed by something
that was a medical condition beyond both our controls.
This is what I mean by our children teaching us lessons. It isn't
that I'm the perfect mother. It is that I listen to my heart and my
gut about what this particular child needs to give them the best
start in life. In our expert ridden society, we forget that WE are
the experts on OUR child, if we will only listen to our hearts and
them.
Below are my three top picks: common sense things that have proven
invaluable to me over the past twenty-three years as a mother.
1) Explore away.
We have all heard the expression...kids will be kids. Children
learn through all their senses...touch, taste, smell, see and hear.
So whether it is grass, dirt or bugs, the risks posed are probably
far less than the benefit of exploration and discovery. Stains can
usually be washed out...and if not then add those items to the
growing collection of play things.
2) Try new things.
It is natural to want to protect your children (actually that was
the advice I heard from the doctor that day too), but sometimes by
watchful waiting we can allow them to develop a sense of
accomplishment. My daughter loves to play on the jungle gym meant
for her seven year old brother. It is terrifying for me as her
mother (especially since I never know when she could have a
seizure), but when she succeeds her little face lights up so
bright. Hmmm...sometimes parents need to try new things too. When
was the last time you did?
3) Listen with your heart.
As I said I might perhaps be a tad more aware of just how precious
they really are; illness will teach you that lesson very quickly.
But these little treasures have so mush to teach us if we will just
stop and listen.
Being a parent has never been easy and in these fast-paced,
challenging times it is more trying. Yet each day, our children
offer us their love, their lives and priceless lessons into their
hearts and minds. We have only to slow down long enough to listen
and learn.
Terri is the mother of six; 3 caesareans, 2 VBACs and an adoption.
She has over fifteen years breastfeeding experience as well as peer
supporter training with two organisations. Terri has completed the
Childbirth Educator, Birth & Post-partum Doula certificates
with Childbirth International. In addition, she also holds a BS in
health education from Texas A&M University.
To sign-up for her monthly e-newsletter featuring her latest
articles on pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and parenting; visit
her webiste:
www.specialstartbirth.com
By Terri O'Neale
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