10 best excuses to avoid the family gatherings during the holidays

By Kirsten Wright

Holiday’s are wonderful – it’s time to spend with the family that comes into town and share all the interesting stories from the past year. And while we all love our families, it seems like the time they spend in town gets longer and longer. And the parties? They just keep growing in number and length. It’s no longer just one or two days, but weeks of celebration. And of course, at any of these parties, after the first hour, the kids have gotten crabby, someone’s had too much to drink and we are all looking for ways to escape. Here are 10 great excuses to get out of staying any longer (or even going at all!).

1. Apparently when you mix baking cookies with a bunch of 6 year olds, you get the fire department, an ambulance and need a lot of alcohol. Needless to say, we are going to be a little late to the party.

2.My doctor says too much holiday cheer could be bad for my high blood pressure, so it's best I stay home...

3.This one works well for parties with your family, not your spouse’s: We went Christmas tree shopping, and it turns out that my wife/my husband is allergic to pine needles! He/She is swollen and miserable, can’t even open his/her mouth! The doctor says recovery will last [insert the number of days you want away from family] so we just can’t make it.

4.I'm boycotting Christmas until Santa figures out how to pack a pony in the sleigh.

5.The 6 year old decided the song should be “Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you out of clay. Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, up my nose you'll stay”. We decided he needs to go to the hospital and stay away from small things.

6.We can't make Christmas eve dinner, we're sitting & watching the chimney, cause if the fat man in the red suit gets down it this year, the brinks guy who sold me the "top of the line" security system and I are going to have a little talk.

7.It turns out at 3 years old; Santa is scarier than the boogeyman. If it's wearing red and has a beard, she won't get anywhere near it. Since Uncle Albert's coming, we can't.

8.Mom, Dad, we'd love to have you over for the eighth day of Chanukah this year. But we bought our menorah from the .99$ store, so this year? Chanukah only has 7 days.

9.Little Timmy found the menorah candles and lit the dogs tail on fire. Now Timmy is crying and the dog needs to go to the vet, so we can’t possibly make it to your party tonight.

10. And if all else fails: Send the kids to your parents, turn off the Christmas and porch lights, unplug the phones, and just start drinking.


*Just a note, this article was for fun, the author and OC Mom Magazine do not actually suggest trying these. Although, if you do decide to try one, please send us details on how it went!*